Tuesday, January 7, 2014
This was unforeseen. I don't want to do anything. I have had two unplanned for snow days due to arctic weather. Several times I have gotten out knitting needles, the sketchbook, a crochet hook, just to have my inner child stomp it's foot and say I don't want to! Admittedly, the last three months or so I was forcing myself to be creative in some form. I didn't want to, I'd lost interested and wasn't feeling fulfilled by the process anymore, but I made myself. Now I am no longer staring down a "must do". Now my creative self seems unwilling to cooperate. I hold the knitting needles in my hands, poised to work on projects, and nothing. The needles won't move. I can't make them move. Nor can I make the pencil move. For years I did very little creatively thinking I was not a creative person. I now have more confidence in myself and yet now I can't make myself create anything. Have I tapped the well dry? How does one replenish creative energy? Over the past year I made creativity something that I had to do in the hopes that after that experience it would be something I want to do. And I do want to do it. At least a part of me does. However there seems to be a larger part of me that is saying, "Enough! Stop! I won't do it and you can't make me!" I have a temperamental toddler in my head who refuses to let me create anything. It doesn't care how bored I am either. How do you reason with your inner child?